Patience.

"Patience, he thought. So much of this was patience - waiting, and thinking and doing things right. So much of all this, so much of all living was patience and thinking."
— Gary Paulsen (Hatchet)

Gary Paulsen is one of the young adult authors that I admire most. I most deeply admire the way the he is able to speak to both young adults and adults. He speaks to us on completely different levels through the stories that he weaves. When I read this quote from his novel, Hatchet, it resonated with me to the core.

I am not a person who enjoys being still for more than an hour or so. There is nothing that I find more interesting or satisfying that a full day of meaningful work. And yet here I find myself with a significant amount of time as I am still waiting to hear the final go ahead on my work visa. God is teaching me what it truly means to be still. To wait. To trust that in His time, He will be faithful.

Running has been tangible way for me to trust in God's strength. We've been getting into an intense amount of distance each week. While daunting, I can see that through perseverance, diligence and prayer, we can do this. Last night, as we finished our 15 mile run, we ended with sprinting. Jeff commented on the amount of energy I had throughout the run. (Which was very different from our last long run.) He said that as we were finishing up, he looked over at me and couldn't stop smiling. He said that he thought, God must be carrying Natasha right now.

This comment made me realize, yes, God was carrying me. And He still is, throughout this whole work visa uncertainty, our engagement, and this marathon training. I am continuing to see the way that God is working in these weeks and I am so thankful to be learning what it means to wait, to be patient, to let God carry me throughout all of these changes and challenges.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging...
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress...He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46, select verses.

Gu.

Last night, we successfully ran 15 miles. The longest distance that both of us have ever run. I was very nervous about using 'gu'- an energy supplement which is supposed to keep your energy up and reduce muscle and joint pain. I was skeptical but it was awesome. It does not taste good nor does it feel normal to consume sugary gel, but it works. With the help of two 'gu' packets and plenty of fluids, we made it and even sprinted at the end of our run.

I recommend this product to anyone who is pursuing long distance running!

Hope.

"When hope is not pinned wriggling on a shiny image or expectation, it sometimes floats forth and opens."
~Anne Lamott~

This week, while difficult in many ways, also brought unexpected hope when I needed it most.

This has truly been an unusual summer. As I was hanging out with my friend on Monday, she mentioned more than once, "You are in an unusual circumstance, Natasha. Are you sure that you're doing okay?" While there have been incredible moments and experiences this summer- Jeff and I got engaged, we went on a road trip on the California coast, I moved to my own place, found my wedding dress, my sisters visited me, I had time to spend with good friends- there has been a constant, looming sense of uncertainty about where I will be when September comes.

September is here and I am still waiting, still trusting that God will work and that I will be teaching this year. But going through the motions of the start of a school year, hopeful that this is where I will be, but not completely certain has started to take its toll on my heart and emotions. On Wednesday, when I was feeling this sadness and uncertainty to it's fullest, I received some hopeful news. To make a long story short, it looks like it is very likely that I will be teaching this year. We are expecting to know for sure this week. While I am still being, as my friend Melissa labelled it, "guardedly optimistic", I truly do feel hopeful and much lighter than I have in such a long time.

The other significant news of the week is that Jeff and I are officially running the New York marathon in November! This week has been remarkable as numerous friends and family members have committed to sponsoring children who are in need through World Vision. It looks like we have about 18 children sponsored now! This is such a blessing and motivation to keep persisting in the training as our runs are getting longer and starting to take a toll on our bodies. We feel so surrounded by the love and support of our community.

While an unusual summer, God has blessed me and been faithful. I can rest secure in the fact that I am surrounded by the open arms of friends and family no matter what this next week and month brings. But ultimately, I can rest secure in the arms of God.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall... I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's steadfast love for us, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness... The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:22,23

Top Three...

Spectacular Places to Run if you live where we do...





1. Liberty State Park- Jersey City, NJ
2. Central Park- New York, NY
3. Waterfront Path- Hoboken, NJ

These are our favorite locations to run through... but we are looking to find new favorite spots. Send us your suggestions.
Our first new location to try... Roosevelt Island. We'll keep you posted.

Where, in Who or What Does Your Identity Lie?

Over the past couple of months I have been spending time thinking about the parts of my life that I place value in. Life is layered, it involves taking on many different rolls. There are people, places and things that pull me in every direction. It can be hard to find focus and direction when it always seems like there is so much to do, so many needs to meet, so many people to please and places to go. No wonder anxiety prevails the lives of so many. No wonder anxiety so often overtakes my life and soul.

So, I have been thinking about what roles are an important part of my identity; and what are the life giving, meaningful roles and relationships that I should spend my time investing in. Here's the list I came up with:


I am a follower of Christ.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a teacher.
I am a friend.
I am a runner.
I am a writer.
I will soon be a wife.


So, these are the parts of my identity that I place the most value in, that I hope to invest the most in. This summer I have seen that when one of these roles seems to be taken from my life, I am shaken to my core. I have realized that I have invested my self worth in these roles in such a deep and intimate way that it feels like I don't quite know who I am without them.

I can see that God is teaching me that my identity in Christ is what is real and lasting. It is what will never be taken from me. While I love teaching, even if I am not a teacher this year, I will still be me. I am still a unique child loved by God. While I love running and training for this marathon, if I am injured an unable to do this, it will not be the end of the world. I will still be me. Although I will be far from my sisters and parents this year, I will still be me. I am continually looking to Matthew 11 this week as I am thinking about these things.

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give your rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30


Running Update:
We are continuing to follow our training schedule, distances and the amount of time we are investing is increasing.
We have 11 out of 26 children sponsored! We have been humbled by the generosity of our church community.
We need to have 14 sponsored by September 7th to be eligible to run in the New York Marathon.

Please consider sponsoring a child through world vision. Click on the link at the left of this page to do so!

Running in the Rain.

Our long runs are truly becoming long. Last night we ran for 12 miles- the longest distance that we've ever run on our own. At mile 2, it started to rain. It continued to rain throughout our entire run, just as it did last week. I've found running in the rain to be refreshing for two reasons. Rainfall puts Jersey City at its quietest- streets and parks are empty. It also keeps us cool, a welcome feeling in the midst of summer.

Here are a couple of pictures of us, rain soaked and exhausted.

Let Go.

I have a strong desire to have control over my life circumstances. I think that I can have a firm, unrelenting grip on the way that I want things to be. Unfortunately, if you have lived life for any substantial amount of time, you know that this is not a helpful or productive way to live. Why? Because we really, ultimately do not have any sort of control over the way things happen. (Thank goodness). Over time, with much guidance, from God and trusted friends, I have discovered that this is not a healthy way to live. When I see that my drive for control has taken over my heart and my mind I pray for God to take it away. I pray that I can trust Him alone with my anxiety, my worries, my disappointments and that I can learn from things going wrong.

This summer so far has been tumultuous, to say the least. It is true to state that almost every area of my life- my home, my relationships, my job, thoughts and hopes for the future have changed or become more complicated in one way or another. The peace of having “everything together” is no longer present in my heart. Is this hard? Yes. Is it devastating? No. These life changes have allowed my heart to be challenged and changed. I have seen the need for relying completely on my faith in God and on nothing else. I continually look to Jeremiah 29:11, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Training with Team World Vision over these last weeks have given me perspective in more ways than one. Running has been a tangible outlet for the stress and anxiety that naturally comes from significant life changes. I have also had time to reflect on the lives of these children that I am running for. No matter what I am going through here, how blessed I am! Who am I to spend time complaining and worrying about my own life? I have a beautiful place to live, an incredible community of family and friends, and a fiancé who is such a blessing of support and perspective in my life. Many of the children who we are running and raising support for are in the midst of the most serious and severe drought in Africa. Their lives are truly tumultuous and full of uncertainty. Their main concern is to have enough food and water to live each day.

I am so blessed. I am so grateful that uncertainty and unexpected change has been a part of my summer; God has and is continuing to teach me how to let go and rely on Him. It is my hope and prayer that He will be present to these communities in Africa who are in dire need of assistance.

Please consider sponsoring a child in Africa through Team World Vision.